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I had a lucid dream last night. My first, as far as I can remember.

I was in Coronado, walking somewhere. I turned down onto G Ave., and my old church was there, which it isn't supposed to be. I looked at the church sign, and it was in gibberish. I looked again, and it was still in gibberish, but different. I realized I was dreaming, and decided to go walk into the Christian Education building (for some reason, a really common setting for my dreams).
Random details )
ocelot: (buffy)
I should be asleep. I have to wake up in 6 hours, and tomorrow is a fun fun day of train and bus rides. Whee!

I hate the end of vacations. I hope to take a vacation sometime where I can just stay until I'm really ready to leave. In this case, that would probably be another 3 days or so - enough time to visit with a few more friends, and go to the zoo once the holiday crowds have died down a little. But Leif and I miss [livejournal.com profile] koyote, and I expect my dad, Leif, and I would go a little stir crazy unless I managed to keep Leif out of the house every waking moment.

My dad visits garage sales frequently. Maybe I should request some age appropriate toys next time we head down for a visit. It's so much easier at my mom's - Leif has several stepcousins around his age, so they're both somewhat childproofed and decently stocked with entertainment.

This particular trip was better than usual, though. I actually got to socialize (with [livejournal.com profile] tangodiva and Margret). Wow. I think this is the first time in years I've had a conversation longer than 5 minutes with a Coronado person (actually located in Coronado at the time) who wasn't a teacher.

I walked by my old house this evening. It was remodeled into a McMansion after we moved out (more than 15 years ago), which always seems weird to me. The house behind it is still the same, though. They even have the same tree (a type of bottlebrush tree, IIRC) with distinctive smelling leaves. It's kind of a peppery, citrusy smell. When I was a kid, I'd break one off and scratch and sniff it whenever I walked by. Sometimes I'd even chew them up - it tasted kind of good, but left my mouth feeling kind of chalky. I did it again today. It didn't kill me back then, after all.

I was thinking during the walk about how I find it much easier to walk without a specific destination here in Coronado. Maybe because it's easier to breathe here. Maybe because if you walk ten blocks in pretty much any direction, you hit the ocean (or the street I grew up on). Maybe just because I did it all the time in high school, and developed the good associations, and I just haven't done that in Davis yet.

Or it could be the weather. We had a bad winter storm today, and 50% of the day was quite pleasant to walk around in a light jacket.

The high school auditorium was torn down, as were my illusions that my grandfather was the one who painted the weird puzzle piece seagull mural on the front. My dad says it wasn't him. I'm not sure which is more upsetting, not that either really places high on the life trauma scale.

I should know better than to write at midnight. I write weird stuff.
ocelot: (Default)
I occasionally wonder if Leif isn't what "they" refer to as a "spirited child".

He's really a pretty "well behaved" child. He shares better than most toddlers. He's gentle with other kids. He doesn't really throw tantrums. He helps clean up, and is cooperative about going to bed and most other things.

He's just active. At restaurants, he's the only kid who won't just sit quietly in his high chair. At library story time, he's the one who won't sit still.

I don't know if he's more active than normal, or if we're just less restrictive than most parents, or if parents of more active kids simply aren't crazy enough to try to take their child to story time and other public places.

(And yes, it is the story time intended for children his age. When I mention that he doesn't do well in story time, the first comment is usually "Isn't he a little young for that?" Actually, he's generally smack dab in the middle of the age range.)

I'm afraid I just started a flame war on a mailing list. Someone is planning to have a natural birth, and another posted (paraphrased), "Good for you, but don't get upset if things don't go as planned, and just go with the flow." I'm afraid I went off a little extremely, but it hit on a number of sore points for me. 1. I realize they're probably trying to be supportive without pressure, but saying "Don't be upset if you fail" is undermining confidence, not supporting. 2. Moms should not feel that they are doing something wrong if they are upset about things that didn't go as planned during birth. It's perfectly legitimate to be upset. 3. Going with the flow is a good way to end up with things not going the way you want them to if your health care provider does not happen to share your views on birth.

But this is a list which is suffering from a severe case of close-knittedness (most of us have been members for at least 5 years, and it's been...oh... probably two years since a new member has joined), and for the past year or so dissenting opinions have been actively avoided. So I feel like I'm stirring a hornets' nest by daring to say that I don't like what someone is saying.

For those of you from Coronado - Village Donuts closed. They're apparently going to put in a Henry's Marketplace (natural/organic grocery store, apparently now owned by Wild Oats), which is very cool, but couldn't they have replaced Von's or Albertson's instead of Village Donuts? Where are we supposed to go for coffee at 3AM now?

Not that I'm drinking much 3AM coffee these days...
ocelot: (Default)
Somehow my obsessive-compulsive switch got turned on tonight.

We're at my dad's, heading home tomorrow, and I would have felt really bad if I'd gone another trip without doing serious work on my room. See, most of the stuff from our move from VA that isn't on the boat is now stored here, plus all the stuff left over from childhood, plus a bunch of my brother's stuff and other random household goods (there is a cheese head hat and a microwave in my closet. Don't ask me why).

I threw out (or prepared for donation/garage sale) the vast majority of my childhood junk because it was just that - junk. Old magazines, worn out soccer cleats, 10 year old shampoo samples, all that great stuff. I kept a small bag of toys for Leif, as well as the stuff that had true sentimental value, tossed the rest, and organized the stuff that remained. I'll have to do another sweep through one of these days, probably after my brother heads back to Santa Cruz, gets his stuff out of here, and we move some more down from my mom's. There are a lot of books I don't plan on ever reading again left, and I missed a section of the closet. But it's SOOOO much better than it was - when we first got here, it was difficult to walk in the room. Now there's lots of free space, yay!

Moving so 7+ times in 5 years into progressively smaller locations is seriously helping me cut down on my pack rat tendencies.

Now I'm obsessively downloading every single book I can think of that I want to read, which is a little silly, seeing as I already have more than enough to last me until my next trip to somewhere with bandwidth, and it's after midnight.
ocelot: (Default)
Watching fireworks was a lot of fun tonight. The fireworks themselves weren't that exciting, but we saw lots of dolphins while waiting for them! A pod was swimming around just off the pier, presumably attracted by all the boats.

We saw some this morning, too, at Silver Strand State Beach.

I lived in Coronado for 18 years and saw dolphins only 2 or 3 times, and never in the bay. Now twice in one day!

Leif had a great time flirting with everyone and petting doggies while waiting for the fireworks, but fell asleep before the big event.

We took Leif to the beach for the first time today. He loved standing in the water and watching the dogs play at Dog Beach.

Due to confusion about where exactly we were going, I didn't wear sandals to the beach, so I ended up walking home barefoot. My feet are now quite sore, though I'm not sure whether this is due more to walking barefoot home from the beach or the godawful imitation Converse I wore on the way too the beach.

We got Leif a little UV protective suit, which I wish we'd found before we went to the beach, but oh well.

Tomorrow we head back to the mountains (and no broadband) after the parade clears out. I think we'd all rather stay in Coronado a bit longer, but we're not packed for a longer trip.

At least we'll be able to tie up the phone line without guilt, since my mom and stepdad won't be around to miss calls.
ocelot: (Default)
My high school's annual all-class reunion is tomorrow. I'll be in Coronado, and the thought has passed through my head that perhaps I should go. I'm not sure why. I can count the number of people I have any interest in seeing on one hand (well, possibly 2), and I suspect most of them won't be there anyways.

We'll see what happens. Leif is being very clingy, so a 21 and over event may not be an option.

I'm currently stuck on a 28.8 dialup, and can't stay on for very long as it ties up the phone line, so I haven't really been reading my friends page. Perhaps I will tomorrow. The sordid details of the move will probably be lost, and that's probably for the better.

Leif is one now (his birthday was June 29th). On the 26th, I think, he learned to stand up entirely on his own and take a few steps. He hasn't really progressed beyond that point since. I think the move shook him up a little. He has developed a neat trick where he sits on his butt and spins around in a circle, though. I think he's also saying "banana".

Our bed here sucks. A full bed just does not fit three people, even if one of them is very small. We have a crib pushed up next to the bed for Leif, but he won't actually sleep in it most of the night, so it doesn't exactly help much. Add to this the fact that Leif has been waking up every hour or so, and nights are pretty miserable.

Can't complain about the weather, though!
ocelot: (Default)
We don't have a TV (though we both have DVD players in our computers). I'm against the idea of using a TV as a pacifier.

But man, Baby Bach is sure keeping Leif happy right now. He's been an awful grumpybutt tonight, fussing regardless of what I tried to do with him. He's now lying on the futon happily staring at baby toys set to classical music.

He even just giggled at it.

Up till today, he'd just lie wherever I put him down. Now he's figured out that he can roll to get somewhere, and has taken to rolling off of things (the couch, the futon). As far as I can tell, he hasn't actually been hurt. He'll cry for a little bit, but is happy again after a minute of nursing.

It's really odd that this is suddenly happening today. He's been able to roll over for a while, though I think he wasn't doing it on purpose before.

I don't think Baby Bach is going to hold him any longer. Time to go try something else.
ocelot: (Default)
My grandparents watched Leif this evening while I went out all by myself for the first time since he was born.

I got some ice cream (tiramisu with cookie dough mixed in), and then went to my old karate studio and watched through the window for a few minutes. That always makes me feel guilty. If I had stuck with it, I'd probably be a black belt by now. Of course, I couldn't have stuck with the exact same style, since there was no studio for it anywhere reasonably near Davis, but that's beside the point.

I planned to go to Cafe 1134 and read, but it was way too crowded. I probably should have waited a few minutes - a play was starting at the theater next door in a little bit, which probably would have cleared out some of the people. I was impatient though, so I headed down to Starbucks. That made me feel dumb - the only coffee shops anywhere near us in Virginia are Starbucks, so we go there all the time. I should be doing something that I can't do back there, not sitting around in a cookie-cutter coffee shop drinking a drink that tastes exactly the same as it does at any other Starbucks.

They had a couch though, so it wasn't a complete waste.

My grandparents called maybe an hour and a half after I left, after Leif had been inconsolable for half an hour. Apparently he was great up until he started to get sleepy, and then he realized Mom wasn't around to feed him. Poor guy.

I've heard people say how much they miss their babies when they go out. I didn't miss him, really. It was too nice being out on my own. It just felt weird. If I ran into anyone I knew, they wouldn't know I was a mom. And I felt guilty and worried for leaving him there, knowing he'd probably get upset. [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I left him with my mom and dad on three occasions during this trip, and he'd always ended up not being terribly happy.

Anyways, I got back to my grandparents', and he stopped crying pretty much immediately, though he continued making little hiccupy sniffles every so often while he nursed. Then he fell asleep harder than I've ever seen - I managed to get him back to my Dad's (next door, so not exactly far), and upstairs to bed without him waking up, and I wasn't exactly graceful about it. He usually wakes up if I carry him from the living room to the bedroom.

Poor baby. I don't think I'll try that again for a while - I'm not sure I could get any enjoyment out of it until he gets old enough to deal better.

We went to the zoo this afternoon. He woke up just in time to see the orangutans. One was rolling around the exhibit, and rolled right up to the glass and started making faces against it. I stood Leif up near the glass, and he and the orangutan were just fascinated with eachother. It was fun to watch.
ocelot: (Default)
I hate it when I don't write often enough, and then have a ton of things I want to write about.

I'm in Coronado now. I was walking down Orange Avenue this afternoon and found myself wondering why the hell I planned to stay here this long. Well, I know why - my grandparents paid for the trip, and I wanted them to get their money's worth of Leif. But I don't really have anything to do here. I don't know anyone I'd consider a friend who's still around. Well one might be, but I'm not sure what she thinks of me right now.

[livejournal.com profile] nuitfaerie or [livejournal.com profile] bongo3045, perhaps you have some insight on this. Last year Margret emailed me, updating me on her life. I wrote back and updated her on my life, including that I was pregnant. I haven't heard from her since. I didn't imagine that the unwed mom thing would be enough to scare her away, but it's the only thing I can think of. Or maybe she just got busy and forgot to respond, though that seems a little odd.

Anyways, I'm here without a whole lot to do for fun and excitement except cross the picket line into Vons and admire the empty aisles. And that gets old pretty fast. We're going to the zoo one day this week, and I'll probably take Leif to the beach to show him the sand. Friday is the annual Christmas parade, which might be vaguely entertaining.

I also get to leave Leif with my dad or grandparents and get some time on my own! Yay! Who would have thought the idea of going to read at a coffee shop or the library all by myself for a few hours would be so exciting.

The library looks weird. They added a new wing onto the back, and it clashes with the old style. Perhaps it will look better when they're done with the remodelling.

The first part of the new high school is supposed to be finished during Christmas break. It's the same style as the other new schools. The building next to the cafeteria has been torn down, so I guess that's next in line.

Thanksgiving went well. Leif loved his pumpkin pie baby food. I have a feeling he isn't going to tolerate the bland stuff. The other day I gave him a dill pickle spear to play with when he was fussing because we were eating, and he was quite happy chewing away on it. Who would have thought a 5 month old would like pickles?

I should go. Leif wants attention.

Memories

Aug. 25th, 2003 12:42 am
ocelot: (buffy)
Leif and I took a nap for an hour or so today. I swear he noticably grew during it.

I seem to have gotten my period back. Bah. I was really hoping I'd be one of those people who didn't get it back for months.

Yesterday we drove out to the middle of nowhere for a Mars-viewing party. It ended up being kind of a bust - we got started late, then had a diaper incident when we stopped at the store to get flashlights, then I mis-read the directions and got us a little lost. People were still there when we finally made it, but it was a bit chilly and starting to cloud over. Not an utter waste of time, though. I still had fun.

The unaccustomed chilliness and being out under the stars at night reminded me that it was almost exactly two years from the day [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I first met.

We were listening to the radio in the car on the way there, and a song came on that brought back very intense memories of one of the best times I had in high school.

It was from the talent show that took place during my freshman or sophmore year. Must have been freshman, because my sophmore year pretty much sucked entirely except for Spanish class, and now that I think about it, some of the people I'm remembering graduated my freshman year. Anyways, I was working one of the spotlights. Chris M., who I had a crush on, was on the other one. It was great fun - the only chance I ever had on the headphones. That had been one of my goals since I got started with drama in third grade (Actually my goal was to be stage manager, till I got to high school and realized that stage managers generally aged about 10 years from the stress and lack of sleep. Plus I got a job my Junior year, and didn't have time for it anymore). Chris always made fun of Izola, who sang "Memories" from Cats, which always got him yelled at by Brian (I realize that this whole story has become nonsensical to anyone who didn't attend high school with me. Oh well).

Anyways, this ties back to the present day because the Drama Club did a lip sync to "Polka Your Eyes Out", one of Weird Al's medley thingies. The song on the radio last night, "Enter Sandman", was part of the medley. This isn't a song I hear frequently, which is probably why it brought back the memory so strongly. I have a lot of songs that have memories associated with them, but if they're songs I like or songs that were popular at the time of the memory(which tends to be the case), I've listened to them often enough that the association with any one event tends to lessen.

Not so with this one. I heard it and I was there, as distinctly as if I'd literally been transported back in time.

Of course, next time I hear it, it will have another memory attached to it, so I doubt the effect will be as strong.

My earliest memory is meeting Laura G., who was my best friend until 1st grade or so. Her family had just moved into the house behind ours. I was out riding my tricycle around the block with my mom. She was riding her hot wheels in the driveway. I remember thinking hot wheels were much cooler than tricycles. I must have been three at the time, since she was a bit older than me, and I remember going to her fourth birthday party.

That's the earliest memory that I can actually place in time. I may have earlier memories, but since I don't know when they take place, I'm not certain. I do have vague impressions from around the time my brother was born (I was almost 3), but nothing distinct, and some of it may be "memories" from photographs I've seen.

What's your earliest memory?
ocelot: (bunny)
I wonder what it says when, while looking at the message boards on classmates.com, you see a posting asking about a certain teacher and think, "Was he the one who hijacked a plane to Cuba, or the one who started the drug smuggling operation?"

I'm tempted to pay my $5.00 or whatever just to ask the question.

In other classmates.com news, of interest to exactly two of you, who probably already know anyways... Mrs. Clark, Mrs. Stansbury, Mr. Thomas, Mr. Duby, Mr. Thangaraj, Mr Collom and Mrs. Howse retired last year. I thought Mrs. Clark and Mr. Collom retired a few years ago, actually. Mr. Thangaraj surprises me - I didn't know he was that old. That was posted by Linda Kullman.
ocelot: (Default)
Picnic Day, the most obnoxious day/weekend of the year in Davis, has officially started. I ran into someone from high school that I didn't have any particular interest in seeing (Bo what's his name, who was in my class, for those who went to CHS). (This seems to happen every year)

I've been kind of annoyed since Wednesday, when the teacher of my self-hypnosis class, after asking how far along I was, stated "Wow, but you don't look pregnant!" And then on the bus yesterday, I was one person away from not being able to get a seat, and really afraid that I'd either have to stand or try to explain to one of the seated people that I really am entitled to one of the handicapped seats. I'm ready to look pregnant.

Except suddenly now I'm glad I don't. I don't particularly feel like looking pregnant around random excessivly popular people from high school. Go figure.

(Why does their opinion bother me in the slightest at this point?)

The downside of not showing yet is that I undoubtedly just look fat.

Speaking of baby, [livejournal.com profile] lemurbaby update will be posted today, if it hasn't been already.

Another odd thing about that particular encounter - I actually recognized him. This is terribly odd. I'm bad at facial recognition - I sometimes don't recognize people I see on a regular basis. Bo is a very generic looking Southern California guy who I have not seen in 5 years or so. Yet I recognized him. I didn't say anything, since he was so far out of context that I just figured it was someone who looked similar to him. But then his dad (his parents were with him) recognized me somehow. Odd.

A similar thing happened last weekend. I recognized Oz from Buffy (aka Seth Green) in a preview for a new movie, even though he was on screen for about a quarter of a second total. My facial recognition problems must be selective somehow.

The weather is confused. Right now, it's sunny and warm. Tomorrow another storm is coming through, and it's supposedly going to be chilly and rainy all next week. Yuck. However, I am happy that it is supposed to rain tomorrow. Haha to the Picnic Day people!

Matilda the rattie is doing better, after a lice treatment, antibiotics for an upper respiratory infection, and several injections of water for dehydration. She's still pretty sick, but is now grumpy instead of apathetic, and she seems to be regaining some motor control. This is good - my main worry was that she'd get over the acute sickness, but remain too motor-dysfunctional to really have any sort of life quality. It could still happen - she still can't really eat on her own - but improvement is a good sign.

I had entirely too much fun this afternoon manipulating data in an excel spreadsheet. This disturbs me - it's not something I'd imagine being fun, but it was. I'm sure that this points to some sort of potential career possibility that I've never considered before.
ocelot: (Default)
Everyone else is writing warthoughts, so I may as well, too.
Read more... )
ocelot: (broccoli)
I had a strange dream last night. I was on a train, talking to this guy I used to know, and he got really upset, turned into a human-shaped pecan log, and scattered everywhere. Then the conductor got mad because she thought we'd thrown pecans at her, and made me pick them up.

I blame [livejournal.com profile] femakita, who mentioned pecan logs the other day.

In another dream, Giles, some other random people (no Buffy people that I know of), and I were hiding from Secret Service people in various abandoned places in Coronado. Not places that are currently abandoned - they were just abandoned in the dream.

These dreams would be somewhat more entertaining if they weren't so panic-inducing (don't ask me why, but they were).

I've noticed that if my dreams have a distinct setting, it's still usually Coronado, even though I haven't lived there on any sort of regular basis since 1998. Occasionally, it'll be a mix of Coronado and elsewhere (I start out in Davis, but end up walking through Coronado High School, or at the beach, or something like that). I'm curious as to what this means - is it just that I spent the majority of my life there?
ocelot: (kid)
I typically dislike quizzes, but this is about the funniest thing I've ever seen...

Not that any of you will understand except [livejournal.com profile] livyanne
Read more... )
ocelot: (Default)
Gah, so much that I need to catch up on...

Vacation was great. Very busy, for the most part (which is the main reason I haven't posted recently). I honestly don't think a much better vacation would have been possible (barring the invention of instantaneous travel...)

Vacation Details )

ultrasound stuff )

I think I felt [livejournal.com profile] lemurbaby kick tonight, and have been feeling the same when I lie quietly over the past week or so. It's early (12 weeks), so maybe it's just wishful thinking or a misinterpretation of intestinal gas. It's not a physical sensation like anything I've felt before, though.
ocelot: (Default)
Since [livejournal.com profile] livyanne is impatient... :)

Reading my previous entry first will make aspects of this less shocking and more understandable, so please do so :)

Read more... )
ocelot: (bunny)
Is it obvious that I've been somewhat homesick for San Diego lately?

It always happens around this time of year, when it starts getting uncomfortably cold up here, and again in the hottest times of the summer.

Of course, once I get back there I get terribly depressed if I stay more than a few days, which is a problem since, in my homesickness, I tend to schedule long visits.

And I'm looking at doing it again this year. Leaving Davis on Dec. 27th, and coming back possibly has late as the 10th. This is supposedly so I have plenty of time with both sets of parents/grandparents, but it's not really, since I plan to leave my Mom's on the 30th or 31st. For some strange reason I'd rather spend New Year's Eve in San Diego than some tiny town in the mountains :) Imagine that.

Ah well. No reason to decide immediately if I'm not flying.
ocelot: (ninjaofhappiness)
...who probably already knows this all already :)

Tonight [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I went to see "The Truth About Charlie" (which is really quite an entertaining movie).

One of the previews was for "Antwone Fisher", a new movie directed by Denzel Washington.

Somewhere along the way, I began to recognize the scenery. The thing was filmed (at least partially) in Coronado (where I grew up)!

Interestingly, I managed to recognize it based on God knows what before anything I actually consciously recognized anything.

Apparently Denzel has an apartment/office/whatever on 1st St., right across from one of the places I thought I recognized.

*bounce* I want to see this movie.

In further news, Starbucks does not yet have Gingerbread Lattes. My life is not yet complete.

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