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ocelot: (ninja of happiness)
Happy Birthday to my dear little brother, [livejournal.com profile] hideousallusion!
ocelot: (Default)
Leif is currently wearing too big, cutoff, camo pants and a [livejournal.com profile] hideousillusion-decorated green shirt that is starting to get too small. He has a bedhead full of hair tinted purple from our kool-aid experiment last week.

He looks like a midget teenage punk.
ocelot: (buffy)
I should be asleep. I have to wake up in 6 hours, and tomorrow is a fun fun day of train and bus rides. Whee!

I hate the end of vacations. I hope to take a vacation sometime where I can just stay until I'm really ready to leave. In this case, that would probably be another 3 days or so - enough time to visit with a few more friends, and go to the zoo once the holiday crowds have died down a little. But Leif and I miss [livejournal.com profile] koyote, and I expect my dad, Leif, and I would go a little stir crazy unless I managed to keep Leif out of the house every waking moment.

My dad visits garage sales frequently. Maybe I should request some age appropriate toys next time we head down for a visit. It's so much easier at my mom's - Leif has several stepcousins around his age, so they're both somewhat childproofed and decently stocked with entertainment.

This particular trip was better than usual, though. I actually got to socialize (with [livejournal.com profile] tangodiva and Margret). Wow. I think this is the first time in years I've had a conversation longer than 5 minutes with a Coronado person (actually located in Coronado at the time) who wasn't a teacher.

I walked by my old house this evening. It was remodeled into a McMansion after we moved out (more than 15 years ago), which always seems weird to me. The house behind it is still the same, though. They even have the same tree (a type of bottlebrush tree, IIRC) with distinctive smelling leaves. It's kind of a peppery, citrusy smell. When I was a kid, I'd break one off and scratch and sniff it whenever I walked by. Sometimes I'd even chew them up - it tasted kind of good, but left my mouth feeling kind of chalky. I did it again today. It didn't kill me back then, after all.

I was thinking during the walk about how I find it much easier to walk without a specific destination here in Coronado. Maybe because it's easier to breathe here. Maybe because if you walk ten blocks in pretty much any direction, you hit the ocean (or the street I grew up on). Maybe just because I did it all the time in high school, and developed the good associations, and I just haven't done that in Davis yet.

Or it could be the weather. We had a bad winter storm today, and 50% of the day was quite pleasant to walk around in a light jacket.

The high school auditorium was torn down, as were my illusions that my grandfather was the one who painted the weird puzzle piece seagull mural on the front. My dad says it wasn't him. I'm not sure which is more upsetting, not that either really places high on the life trauma scale.

I should know better than to write at midnight. I write weird stuff.
ocelot: (Default)
I don't feel like updating.

Leif and I are visiting at my mom's house. The keyboard sucks, so please excuse any typos I don't correct.

We're supposed to go to San Diego tomorrow, but my mom is sick, so I'm not sure we'll make it.

I wonder if Leif is weaning. I can count the times he's nursed since we left early Tuesday morning on one hand, and he actually didn't want to nurse before his nap this afternoon, and fell asleep on his own, which I don't think he's ever done when he was with me and not in some form of transportation (car, stroller, baby carrier, whatever). It's possible that he has certain associations that were broken by going someplaces else.

I went out on my own this afternoon. I went to a coffee shop and drank a latte and ate a sandwich and finished my book. Then I wandered around stores and a library. Whoo. I saw the oddest thing in a women's clothing boutique - a fleece spaghetti strap tank top. Huh?

Leif is currently watching Finding Nemo, and seems to want me to come over and hold him, so I suppose I will do that.
ocelot: (Default)
Ah, the joys of having a two year old. Leif took a long, late nap and refused to eat dinner. Then he woke up and fed his mashed potatoes to his stuffed kitty. He still hasn't actuallly eaten anything himself.

We cooked a big Thanksgiving dinner, despite being only the three of us. We intend to eat off of it for the next month or so. A medium sized turkey, quinoa stuffing, 4 lbs of mashed potatoes, gravy, greens, salad that we never ended up eating, [livejournal.com profile] silkensteel's cranberry sauce, a pumpkin pie, an apple pie, and 2.5 dozen coconut chocolate chip cookies that were baked at the same time pretty much as coincidence.

Yes, we have leftovers.

I burned my hand today. This is pretty much a Thanksgiving rite of passage, except that it didn't actually happen during anything Thanksgiving-related. [livejournal.com profile] koyote was serving up beans and rice for breakfast, and some got on my hand.

It's ok now, though. A little red and stiff, but not really painful anymore, and no worse than first degree.

I discovered that I like pumpkin pie batter much better than actual pumpkin pie. It tastes like eggnog. I hoped maybe this recipe would taste similar once it was baked, but it tasted like plain ordinary pumpkin pie, which is good, but not my favorite.

Leif gobbled it, though. Not surprising, since he wasn't into dinner.

This sounds way too whiny for a Thanksgiving post. I don't mean it that way. It was the first time that I can remember that I've had a Thanksgiving dinner without tons of extended family around, and it was nice.
ocelot: (Default)
My aunt Barbara died five years ago. She was a relatively prominent archaeologist (in New England, anyways), focusing on the Native American tribes in New England.

I'm reading Island in the Sea of Time by S.M. Stirling, and when the Native Americans came on the scene, I had to put the book down for a while. I'd known the basic premise of the book (the island of Nantucket gets transported back in time 3000 years), but hadn't made the connection before.

I wonder if she read it - it came out in 1998, so it's quite possible. I wish she were around so I could ask her what she thought of it. If the Native Americans are historically accurate, it's almost certainly based on her research, though neither her nor her department at UMass is mentioned in the acknowledgments.
ocelot: (broccoli)
Thanksgiving was a little bit of a mess. We went to my grandparents' house, where Leif ate too many persimmons. After he woke up from his post-dinner nap, he had the runs, with the accompanying sore tummy and diaper rash. He cried and fussed most of the rest of the night. Poor little dude.

Other than that, things went well. Dinner was yummy. Family was nice. Leif was his usual charming self for the first while. My brother was here, which was good. I still need to get him and my step-brother Greg in a room together with Leif - he currently seems to think they're the same person. Perhaps tomorrow, when much of my step side of the family is supposed to be visiting. That should be fun - there are several kids from 1-3 years for Leif to play with. Oh wait, that won't work, since my brother went home just a few minutes ago.

At risk of sounding ungrateful, I seriously wish my family didn't all live in the mountains. Separate mountains, at that. My car sickness isn't getting any better as I get older, and it's always so dry up here.

As soon as Leif wakes up from his nap, [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I are going to get coffee. Alone! Imagine that!

Oops, I meant to post this hours ago. Leif woke up from his nap and we got our coffee. Unfortunately, the coffee shop was incredibly busy (closest coffee shop to Mountain High ski resort, on a holiday weekend, with lots of snow on the ground. Go figure), so we ended up just walking around for a while. It was nice - we don't normally get a chance to just talk in a setting conducive to discussion and brainstorming.
ocelot: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] koyote quit his job on Tuesday, and we'll be moving back to California at the end of June. Doing what or living where, we're not entirely sure, but we'll work out something. We have enough to survive for a while, and neither of us is opposed to taking whatever job we can get if it comes to that. Hopefully we can earn enough selling random stuff on ebay and baby carriers that we won't have to, but we'll see.

We'll be staying with my parents for a while. I like to think of this as an extended vacation, rather than moving back home. My mom and stepdad are going to Hawaii for most of July, and we'll be house-sitting. Then we'll be in San Diego for a while.

I'm feeling both apprehensive and relieved about this. Apprehensive for obvious reasons, relieved because I'm really not happy here, and because perhaps having [livejournal.com profile] koyote around more will take some of the pressure off me as main caregiver and give me a chance to have some time to myself a bit more often.

So anyways, if any of you living on this coast feel like meeting Leif, get ahold of me soon.

I found out yesterday that my cousin Moira is pregnant. Ironically, she's moving to Northern Virginia this summer, probably a few days after we leave. It's almost enough to make me wish we were staying here, though I doubt we'd see them all that often, anyways.

I'm debating what to do for Leif's first birthday. Part of me feels like we should have a big celebration, the other part doesn't want to deal with it. This isn't entirely laziness - most of what I don't want to deal with has to do with my parents being divorced. Do I invite my dad? Even though the party will be at my Mom's house? What about my paternal grandparents? I feel really bad about the idea of not inviting them, but I think that inviting my dad would be a really bad idea.

If I was having it somewhere neutral, I'd have no problem with inviting them both, but it's so soon after we arrive (we're thinking July 3) that I don't know how feasible it would be to find somewhere else, especially with Coronado being stuck in 4th of July Hell. Two separate parties would be another answer, except there really isn't much of anyone in Coronado besides my dad, grandparents, and possibly brother, and that doesn't really make for much of a party.

I suppose I should just talk to him.

My former boss and manager got laid off this week. I'm glad I'm not working there anymore. My department seems to have really gone to hell over the past year (not that it was much better when I left). I suspect this is partly budget cuts, partly poor management.

I realized today that some of the kids I used to babysit for would be old enough to babysit for Leif.

Ebay is addicting. I love sitting here clicking reload and watching the prices go up, and it's endlessly amusing to me that the stuff I figured would go for $0.99 is up to near retail price (in some cases, more than I paid for it) with quite a bit of time remaining.
ocelot: (Default)
The trip to Davis went pretty well. Leif slept 3 of the 4 flights. The other flight (second half of the flight to Sacramento) was pretty bad - we were stuck on the runway at O'Hare for about an hour before taking off (Big surprise. I don't think I've ever had a flight out of O'Hare that wasn't stuck on the runway for an hour) and Leif got a little antsy during the last hour and a half or so. Then he fell asleep as we were landing. Go figure.

The Whole Earth Festival was pretty amazing. I've never been all that into it before, but it's an entirely different experience when you're a parent who's been living in Virginia for a year. Moms lie around in the grass breastfeeding their babies. Most of the babies are held a lot of the time, even if the parents brought strollers. Many wear cloth diapers.

Such a strange contrast to here.

I guess that's what happens when the entire hippy population of the Bay Area and Sacramento Valley descends on an area the size of a city block.

Leif wasn't feeling very well a lot of the time. He had a pretty miserable time on Friday, developed a bit of a fever, and then ended up being constipated most of the weekend (yes, we were trying to keep him hydrated). Poor guy. I feel bad about dragging him around everywhere like we did, but I doubt that staying at our host's house would have been any better for him.

Despite all that, my family still thought he was the most good-natured baby ever. It really makes me wonder about other babies when people tell us how wonderfully behaved he is when he's at his worst.

Pictures will be up when I get around to it.

This past week has basically sucked. It's been oppressively hot, and Leif's sleep schedule is all thrown off from jet lag. Yesterday I had a really weird sickness - headache and nausea for a few hours, and then it went away. At first I thought it was caffeine withdrawal, then the nausea hit, and I thought it was the flu. And then it went away. It wasn't dehydration, but could have been heat related.

Leif may have had a bit of it, too. He was awfully fussy, and wanted to be held constantly. It's just so much fun trying to take care of a fussy baby when you're sick yourself.

I haven't heard anything of the infamous 17-year cicadas, which I suppose I should count as a blessing. I'm guessing that this area has been torn up within the last 17 years, so we don't have many. Leif and I may go down by the creek later and see if I can find any.


Feb. 27th, 2004 10:04 pm
ocelot: (Default)
Today I was riding the bus, with Leif in his carrier. He was sleepy, and just kind of staring up at me. He wasn't moving, not even blinking, and for a moment I was afraid he'd somehow died. Then I touched him, and he moved, and my heart rate slowly returned to normal.

Time for me to stop reading the paranoid "The end of the world as we know it is upon us!" crackpots again. They write too creepily. I don't think anything any of them have "predicted" has ever come to pass, but it always messes with my brain. I start getting paranoid and depressed and having whacked out dreams.

It's quite addicting, and very easy to get caught up in. My dream the other night was very obviously influenced by what I read there. If I posted that dream, I could have half the people convinced it was prophecy. The idea would be reinforced in their minds, and they'd end up having similar dreams, until everyone on the board ended up truly believing that a moon-sized asteroid is going to hit earth and wipe out the majority of human life in June. After the government releases a virus that kills a good portion of the earth's population, in hopes of cutting down on the chaos caused by the asteroid.

Uh huh.

My mormon grandparent-in-laws are coming to visit sometime soon. I'm convinced that I'm going to somehow end up offering them coffee or wine.

When I was 12, my family took a camping trip around the western US. I fell in love with Utah, and told my mom I wanted to live there someday. She told me I'd have to become mormon. I'm half convinced that a good portion of my life since then has been a subtle joke caused by that conversation.

Reading back through my old entries, I realized that it's been more than 10 days, and we haven't received a confirmation letter from Crackmonkey Bernard. I guess I have to call him Monday.

I'm afraid I'm going to end up calling him Crackmonkey while on the phone with him.
ocelot: (Default)
My god, reading my friends page really makes me appreciate my family.
ocelot: (Default)
My grandparents watched Leif this evening while I went out all by myself for the first time since he was born.

I got some ice cream (tiramisu with cookie dough mixed in), and then went to my old karate studio and watched through the window for a few minutes. That always makes me feel guilty. If I had stuck with it, I'd probably be a black belt by now. Of course, I couldn't have stuck with the exact same style, since there was no studio for it anywhere reasonably near Davis, but that's beside the point.

I planned to go to Cafe 1134 and read, but it was way too crowded. I probably should have waited a few minutes - a play was starting at the theater next door in a little bit, which probably would have cleared out some of the people. I was impatient though, so I headed down to Starbucks. That made me feel dumb - the only coffee shops anywhere near us in Virginia are Starbucks, so we go there all the time. I should be doing something that I can't do back there, not sitting around in a cookie-cutter coffee shop drinking a drink that tastes exactly the same as it does at any other Starbucks.

They had a couch though, so it wasn't a complete waste.

My grandparents called maybe an hour and a half after I left, after Leif had been inconsolable for half an hour. Apparently he was great up until he started to get sleepy, and then he realized Mom wasn't around to feed him. Poor guy.

I've heard people say how much they miss their babies when they go out. I didn't miss him, really. It was too nice being out on my own. It just felt weird. If I ran into anyone I knew, they wouldn't know I was a mom. And I felt guilty and worried for leaving him there, knowing he'd probably get upset. [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I left him with my mom and dad on three occasions during this trip, and he'd always ended up not being terribly happy.

Anyways, I got back to my grandparents', and he stopped crying pretty much immediately, though he continued making little hiccupy sniffles every so often while he nursed. Then he fell asleep harder than I've ever seen - I managed to get him back to my Dad's (next door, so not exactly far), and upstairs to bed without him waking up, and I wasn't exactly graceful about it. He usually wakes up if I carry him from the living room to the bedroom.

Poor baby. I don't think I'll try that again for a while - I'm not sure I could get any enjoyment out of it until he gets old enough to deal better.

We went to the zoo this afternoon. He woke up just in time to see the orangutans. One was rolling around the exhibit, and rolled right up to the glass and started making faces against it. I stood Leif up near the glass, and he and the orangutan were just fascinated with eachother. It was fun to watch.
ocelot: (buffy)
I had another doctor's appointment today. The baby could come at any time now. In medical terms, I'm 50% effaced, 1 cm dilated, and the baby is at the -2 station. What this means - nothing really. I could go tomorrow, or it could be another month, but likely sooner rather than later. As [livejournal.com profile] koyote has been saying, in gun terms, the gun is loaded and the safety is off. We're just waiting for them to pull the trigger.

I've also got possible symptoms of pre-eclampsia, which is a little worrisome, since it's potentially life threatening for both of us. She doesn't seem overly concerned about it, though.

My dad leaves for Europe tomorrow, and my mom for Hawaii on Wednesday.

I'm having a little bit of difficulty with this. Both these trips have been scheduled since before I got pregnant, and will be over before my official due date. And I know that my mom, at least, would skip it and show up here if I asked her to. And really, I'm glad I don't have to deal with the both of them out here at once.

But I still can't help feeling a little hurt. It's their first grandkid, after all. I kind of feel like we don't really matter.

Ok, I'll soon begin to rival Harry Potter in terms of angsty moodiness, so I'm going to sleep. Hopefully the lawnmowers will not wake me up at 8:00AM.
ocelot: (broccoli)
My mom, stepfather, and brother visited from Friday until this morning. For the most part, it was a nice visit. It's amazing how much better my brother and I get along now that we're adults and not seeing eachother on a regular basis :)

I'm effectively done with work. I'm working 10% time telecommuting for the next month, but I never *have* to go back to the office. Except I'm going to, because I forgot to return my keys, and I think I left something there, and it's the only access I currently have to a printer.

This is relieving, largely because I no longer have to worry about getting enough sleep at night. I can wake and sleep when I need to. Well, except that I have a bunch of stuff that needs to be done during business hours on Tuesday. Oh well. Hopefully the lack of things that need to be done before then will let me rest up for it.

At this point, I'm going back and forth between physically feeling great, and feeling run over by a truck, with little in between. As long as I get enough rest and don't try to do too much, I'm fine. Unfortunately, when I'm feeling fine, I tend to overestimate what "too much" is :)

I'm feeling lonely. I don't have any particularly close friends in Davis anymore, a lack which I don't typically feel when [livejournal.com profile] koyote is around.

I think maybe I'll throw a "take away my unneeded stuff and help me clean" party on Tuesday evening.

The monstrosity desk is no more. Well, that isn't entirely true. It's simply been converted to a makeshift coffee table. When I moved in, the people helping me move took the door off the hinges and the molding off the door in order to get it into the bedroom. I decided to have my brother saw the legs off rather than go through all that again. It worked quite well, and I now have a legless desk sitting in my living room, waiting for transport to the trashcan.

I apparently have 1040 mp3s/ogg files on my hard drive, taking up 3.9GB of space. I just put them all in a playlist. Now I need to figure out how to get StarCalc to open it as a spreadsheet or something so that I can effectively edit and sort it. I think that will be a job for the plane, along with resizing/reorienting/sorting the babyshower pictures, some of which are, amazingly enough, not hideous.

I need to pack and figure out what bag everything needs to go in. I can't pack everything now, because I need to do laundry first, and I'd prefer to wait until Monday to do that. Actually, I'd prefer to wait till Tuesday, but I have enough else to do on Tuesday that it isn't really practical.

I need to figure out the best way to ship the disk array and the cheese wheel. Do I mail them, or pack them in my luggage? I think the cheese will be packed (not quite as bulky, not as sensitive to harsh treatment, and less likely to scare security people) and the disk array mailed.

This is getting silly. I'll go ahead and post now.
ocelot: (Default)
Dear people related to me,

If you've managed to track down this journal, congratulations. I'm impressed, especially if you managed to track it down after about 1:20PM 3/4/2003 without being told the address by someone else.

I really didn't intend this journal to be for family. If you want to read it, I guess I can't really stop you (well, I can, but I'd rather not do that), but please recognize that you are not the intended audience, and that I may say things here that I would not normally say to people in my family.

Also, please don't pass the address, or anything said in here, on to anyone else without asking first.

Not that I don't love you all, I just didn't really intend for family to be reading this.


Anyways... I'm feeling better today. I think I was just overly tired last night.
ocelot: (bunny)
I like making my own traditions.

When my parents divorced two years ago (Literally. It was finalized on Christmas Day), I lost all the Christmas traditions I'd grown up with. I haven't been home for Christmas since. It just doesn't seem all that attractive an idea. So instead I sit around at home and eat crackers, cheese, and hummus.

Luckily, I'm spending this Christmas with someone who considers this a perfectly legitimate meal :)

I realized today that my belly feels different, like there is more muscle there. I don't think it looks noticably different yet. I still fit into my old jeans, though they weren't exactly loose before. In fact, they fit better than before. I think I've lost weight due to lack of appetite (which is pretty normal during early pregnancy. As long as you gain enough later, it's alright).

Tomorrow I need to go to the doctor's, clean house (which I actually need to start once I finish eating my crackers), probably change the rat cage even though it doesn't need it so that it won't need it before we get back, wrap presents for my family and pack. Friday we're off on the train for Southern California.
ocelot: (Default)
Since [livejournal.com profile] livyanne is impatient... :)

Reading my previous entry first will make aspects of this less shocking and more understandable, so please do so :)

Read more... )
ocelot: (ninjaofhappiness)
This weekend, [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I are visiting my family in Southern California.
Read more... )
ocelot: (Default)
I'm at my mom's, up in the mountains. Today we had belated Christmas with the new Instant Family. They seem to be all terribly high-energy people. Nice, though. My stepbrother's wife just had a baby, so now I'm a step-aunt. Literally just had it - he was 6 days old today. I'm surprised they showed up.

After the belated Christmas, we had a belated wedding reception (they got married back in October or something (such a wonderful daughter I am...I can't even remember)). It was nuts. Lots of family, and lots of people they'd known in high school. Some of the teachers from my high school (where my mom taught) were supposed to show up, but they never did. Don't know if I'm disappointed or relieved. It would have been nice to see some of them, but it saved me from the whole "So what are you doing these days?" deal.

It snowed a wee bit. That was neat.

Had a talk with one of my stepbrothers. Apparently, they're as weirded out by all this as I am. Not surprising, especially considering that they're all Mormon (family is a very central part of the belief system).

I'm staying here until the 30th or 31st. On the 30th we're going to the yearly family Christmas party in LA. I think I'm going to try to take the train down to San Diego then, like I did last year. San Diego should be nice. Quiet, privacy, cats, (hopefully) nice weather, and a fast internet connection. Yay.

Not that it isn't good to see/meet everyone. It is. It's just a lot to deal with at one time.
ocelot: (bunny)
Went out for lunch with my mom, brother, step-father, and step-sister today. We took the ferry over to San Diego and walked 600 miles or so to this mexican restaurant my brother knew.

On the ferry, they have signs telling us to have our IDs out and bags open for inspection. Not that they actually did (which was lucky, since I happened to not have my ID on me), but still freaky.

The restaurant was interesting - very artsy. Not what you'd associate with a mexican restaurant in a questionable part of town. Pokez, for any San Diegans out there. They had decent food - a lot of vegetarian/vegan stuff.

I'm not sure what to think about this whole step-family thing. It's strange - the two females (one 16, and the other 23 or 24) are like supermodels or something. And they're all normal people with a grasp of fashion and so on. The type who make my inferiority complex kick in :P She seemed nice enough, though. She and my brother really hit it off, but that isn't the least bit surprising. He hits it off with everyone.

It's odd, really. Up through middle school, he was a bigger dweeb than me. Then he hits high school, and suddenly he's Mr. Popular. He has a gaggle of girls who follow him around. Whenever we go anywhere, he runs into a bunch of people that he knows.

Literally anywhere. We're in the middle of downtown London, and he runs into some girl he knows from church.

Sitting in the restaurant, he saw two people, including one from Santa Cruz (he's at UCSC).

Anyways, we came back across on the fascist ferry, and checked out an art gallery in the little touristy shopping center. They had a display of Dr. Seuss art, including some really cool stuff - obviously Dr. Seuss style, but just off enough from his usual to seem odd.

After that, we went to Mootown (an excellent ice cream shop, run by my "father" (he played the king in The King and I, and I was one of his 30 million kids)). It often has lines extending down the block. Luckily, everyone was apparently still stuffed from Thanksgiving, and there was no wait at all. I got my usual - tiramisu flavor - with m&m's. We walked down to the beach as we ate (my brother saw 2 other people he knew), and then back around past L. Frank Baum's (the guy who wrote The Wizard of Oz - the emerald city was based on the Hotel Del Coronado, this huge old hotel).

Walking back to the car, we ran into a friend of the family - the mother of one of the guys in my class, who I'd been friends with since we were little kids. My mom introduced her husband and her daughter (not step-daughter, daughter. This bothers me a bit. She's *my* mom, not some stranger's who she didn't know before 2 years ago). I have a feeling this person may not have even known that my parents were divorced, let alone that my mom had remarried. I'm pondering calling her tomorrow to apologize, since it was obviously an awkward situation for her.

It's still difficult to adjust. It doesn't seem right that my mom isn't here, even though she's been gone for over a year. Perhaps if I were living at home, experiencing it every day, it would be easier to accept.

It's just one more of those little things (ok, I guess it's a rather big thing) that are out of place that make coming home so weird, like the doors at the school being painted a different color, or the new apartment buildings in the Hanson's front yard, or the ice cream shop that went out of business, or the new extension to the convention center, or the military humvees guarding the bridge. Or any other of the numerous little things that have shifted since I was last here, standing out sharply against the majority of things which are exactly the same.


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