ocelot | (no subject)

I never really understood quite why people objected so much to those giant pictures of aborted fetuses that the pro-lifers like to put up. They're gross and distasteful, sure, but I'm generally not all that affected by pictures.

But today the pro-lifers were on campus with their pictures, including several of aborted 21 and 22 week old fetuses, which is

lemurbaby's age. It took me half an hour to stop shaking, and I'm still randomly bursting into tears.

I'm not sure why. I don't know if it was the pictures, or the protestors, or the people who proudly declared they killed their baby and would do it again. Maybe it's that the pictures had their intended effect - making me feel that, if I supported abortion, I was as bad as the Nazis, or the KKK, or any group intent on exterminating a group of people. Or maybe it's all just hormones and my fears about baby's welfare.

I do know that part of it is the thought that I could go into an abortion clinic any time during the next few weeks, and they'd do an abortion, and she'd be gone. And that's just a really scary thought.

And the thing is, it didn't change my view on abortion at all. I still consider access to legal abortion the lesser of two evils in our society, even after looking at those pictures while feeling

lemurbaby kick inside me.

(I realized afterwards that this is the first time I've consciously noticed her kicking while I'm standing up and walking around.)

If the pro-life people gave the slightest sign of having any shred of caring for the mothers or for the welfare of the babies past birth, perhaps I'd be more willing to associate myself with them. But they don't. At least not the ones I normally see in public - I know that there are plenty out there who do care. But the most outspoken ones don't seem to care about anything but the unborn babies.

But then, most of the outspoken pro-choicers don't care about the unborn babies at all, so I can't really relate to them, either.

I wish I lived in a society where none of this was an issue.

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What I hate about the giant pictures is that the people displaying them don't care who might see them. I passed a bunch outside a doctor's office, one day, and thought, "What if my five-year-old were in the car with me and asked them what those pictures are?" (No, I don't have a kid, this is just imagination here.)

I don't think it's fair to people who just wouldn't get it, in any context, to display pictures of dead people of *any* age -- before they're born, after, etc. -- where they can see them, *especially* in 4' x 6' panels.

And it's not fair to show them to pregnant people. :/

I know. I wasn't really clear in what I originally said - I understood at an intellectual level why people didn't like them. I just didn't understand at an emotional level.

You're in a good position to be around both camps now.. pro-lifers won't hate you because you're obviously more than 3 months pregnant, and pro-choicers won't hate you because they're not against kids :)

The only problem is that I'm not obviously pregnant :)

I'm wearing a reasonably tight shirt today, and people were still really surprised when I told them.

All that space makes it easy for the babe to hide. Also you're a primipara so your abdomnial muscles are used to keeping everything confined. If you have any more children you'll start showing sooner because the muscles move apart sooner.

I do know that part of it is the thought that I could go into an abortion clinic any time during the next few weeks, and they'd do an abortion, and she'd be gone. And that's just a really scary thought.

I consider myself fiercely pro-choice, but barring very serious health complications, I just don't "get" second-trimester abortions. Especially past the halfway point. I don't think it's my right to bar others from having them, but I don't understand them.

I can't imagine aborting a baby that you've already felt kicking inside you.

Abortions this late make up a really small percentage of abortions, probably because the emotional attachment is generally too high by this point, and because it's really not that much easier than giving birth when it's this far along. I think the providers are also limited - even though California law allows abortions at this point, a number of the providers won't provide abortions past 14 weeks or so. Late abortions are most often performed because of serious birth defects (which often can't be confirmed until around 20 weeks), so it's rather misleading of them to concentrate so heavily on those pictures. But they tend to do so anyways, probably because they're the most upsetting.

I can't imagine it either at this point. Or at least don't want to imagine it. But I'm in a relatively good situation - I can't say how I'd feel if the pregnancy was really unwanted.