We now have enough boy baby clothing to pretty much ensure that baby is a girl. But still next to no 0-3 month.

I want everything moved NOW and it's pretty much entirely out of my control and it probably isn't going to happen this week and it's making me really twitchy. I also want the laundry dry right now so I can go fold it. Maybe I'll take a picture of all the adorable little baby clothing hanging on the line instead. I'm tempted to see if I can move the couch I'm sitting on, since it isn't in its permanent spot.

Yes, I realize I sound insane and OCD.

All I really want is one specific trunk from storage - the one with the baby stuff. Then I can get it all out and sort it and put it away and so on, and then use it for storing blankets (the bed type, not the baby type). But it's probably buried under everything. Maybe I'll go check tomorrow when someone else can watch Leif.

We have somewhere to move to as of September 1st. Yay!

Not 100% ideal, but definitely better than things are now.

We'll have a yard (which, while not 100% fenced now, should be pretty easy to block in)! And a back porch big enough to be worth weatherproofing! And a washer/dryer! And a playground right on the other side of the fence!

So tired. This is almost entirely my fault. I started the Left Behind series a week or so ago. I was right at the end of book 6 last night, and stayed up too till 1:00 AM finishing it. This is bad when you have a baby who is generally awake by 7:30.

I've always had a fascination with Revelations, which presumably is related to my fascination with disaster/apocalypse literature in general. Perhaps it's even the source of this fascination. Either way, I spent a lot of time in church as a kid reading Revelations, and not because I went to a particularly end-times centered church. I just found it more interesting than any of the other available distractions.

In any case, when the books first came out, I decided that I was going to wait until they were all released before giving it a shot. Now they've all been released (Not counting the spin-offs, which will presumably continue to be released until the Rapture really does occur and all of Tyndale Press is taken away to heaven), so I did.

They're not great literature, but absorbing and fun. Quick reads - I've gotten through 6.5 of them in a week or so, and I don't have all that much time to spend reading. It usually takes me ages to finish a book these days.

They do provide a view of Christianity that, for all that I grew up immersed in various forms of Christianity, I was never really exposed to. I find the idea that a non-Christian would convert to Christianity through reading these books kind of implausible - the books focus on God providing proof that he exists through events that have not happened in real life. I can, however, understand someone from a more mainstream denomination becoming evangelical after reading them.

One of the news magazines currently has an article about the books. I thought it was Newsweek, but can't see anything about it on the website. Anyone know which one it is?

I have a box of old notebooks full of freewriting from high school/college, combined with random schoolwork that I'm throwing away.

I used to have three file boxes full of this stuff. I got rid of all but one box when we moved last year, primarily by weeding out the majority of the non-literary schoolwork.

I decided today that I'm never actually going to use any of this stuff for anything except reminiscing. I'm not sure it's worth shipping it back and forth across the country an indeterminate number of times just for that.

A lot of it I can't read. It's too painful. Interpret "painful" whatever way you want, and you'll be right.

The random snippets of fiction are interesting, though. In many ways, I feel like I was a better writer back then than I am now. I found one bit that I don't remember writing at all - a feud between a six year old boy and his female cousin who suddenly decide they can't play together due to cooties. The boy is named Allen.

The next page is a letter to an internet friend, also named Allen. Obviously not a coincidence, but I don't remember having any particular feelings for this person beyond friendship. Was it just a convenient boy's name, or am I not remembering something?

I'm afraid I'll regret throwing them away. Who says that in 15 years I won't want to remember exactly how it felt to be in high school? I already see the past with glasses that are, if not rose, at least slightly pink.

On the other hand, I really don't want anyone else ever reading my angstbunny writing. I sound completely bugnuts in most of it.

Perhaps I'll go through and sort out some of the less embarrasing stuff. I am keeping the notebooks I wrote in when I was actively journaling (as opposed to freewriting to pass time in class) during middle school - they're small and generally more sane. The Aristocat stuff too, though I can't find it with a quick glance through the box, which worries me a little, since it isn't exactly a big box.

Leif has figured out how to open the screen door on his own. He just ("just" meaning two hours ago, when I actually wrote this post...) crawled outside and is now sitting on the porch. He's fenced in by the pouring rain, at least (not that he's unsupervised, but it makes it easier when he doesn't actually want to leave the porch).

He just fell over backwards into a puddle of water on the grass. He was a little shocked to suddenly be soaking, but wouldn't let me bring him back inside.

Original: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2003/10/16/93922/348

I realized I never updated after my last entry...
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I will now, as usual, complain about things that need to be done, rather than actually doing them.

Specifically, I need to write a birth plan, do some stuff for work, and do some unpacking.

I really do not want to do any of this.

I am eternally greatful to silkensteel, who came down this weekend to help us unpack. When the movers left, there was so much stuff piled around the house that it was essentially impossible to move. We're still far from done, but it is much better than it was.

I am happy. I now have all the baby stuff, so I can sort through it and determine what we already have and what we still need.

We are being geeks and organizing our books according to the Library of Congress system. We need more bookshelves, though. We didn't have enough at the old apartment. A large portion of our books were just randomly piled around. And then we got rid of a bunch of our old bookshelves, because they got too beat up during the move, and sucked to begin with (they were all second or third hand).

I got the new Harry Potter yesterday, and read it all. It was quite good. I don't know if I would say it's the best in the series so far, but definetly worth reading. Well, maybe I would say it was the best so far. I dunno. I didn't particularly like 1 and 2 the first time I read them, though I enjoy them both now. 3 was great. 4 was ok. 5 was better than 4, but I'm not sure whether 3 or 5 was better.

It's like one of those tests at the optometrist's.

I found mochi ice cream at Trader Joe's. Unfortunately, they were sold out of the green tea flavor, and only had mango, which I have never tried.

I haven't been updating as often as I should. I also haven't been responding much to comments and emails. I apologize for this. I just don't feel like it, for some reason :)

For those who don't read lemurbaby, we found an apartment, and are in the process of moving into it. It's pretty great, considering that we had to find something on very short notice. Very good location. Now we're in the process of getting new stuff (king sized bed, whoo!) and figuring out what of our old stuff to keep and what to get rid of.

We've developed a slow field. Anything we have to order will take longer than expected. This started with my order from gap.com. I placed an order on May 22. It hasn't shipped yet. I want to cancel it, since it barely seems worth it to spend that much on clothing for the time remaining, but I want the clothes, especially the bathing suit, and it's entirely possible I'll end up not having the baby till sometime in August.

Besides, every time I call to check on the status, they give me some additional discount or something.

Every order we've placed since has gone similarly, and it extends to real life too, to some extent. Or perhaps that's just the awful VA drivers :)

I found a doctor. I have an appointment tomorrow.

I had a funny dream last night, about people from Davis finding my journal, and me trying to explain to my boss's boss why I didn't want him reading it. Not because of anything against him personally (we were friends before I got the job, so we have a personal relationship and not just a work relationship), but because I'd written stuff about work in a more candid way than I would if I were talking to him.

I also dreamed that I was graduating from high school again for some reason, and I didn't want to go through the graduation ceremony because I was pregnant, and it would look bad for a high school kid to be pregnant, even if I was 23, halfway through college, etc.

The idea of graduating from high school at 23 didn't seem to bother me at all.

I think I have issues.

Now I must get dressed so we can go find something to eat.

I am in Virginia. The flights went ok, though there were delays everywhere. Chicago was really annoying. Every time there was a lightning strike within 10 miles of the airport, we got delayed 15 minutes.

The cats survived, too. They are quite clingy now.

I got a 32/35 on that project :) I probably would have gotten 35/35 if I'd done the whole thing - I simply ran out of time on one segment. This means I got an A in the class. Yay!

All utilities except phone are cancelled. The phone service relies on DSL being cancelled first, and I just placed the order for that today. I'll call them back late today or tomorrow.

The first thing I noticed upon arriving in VA was that people smoke inside here. Really. I stepped off the plane, and smelled cigarettes. I will miss California in that respect.

Other than that, it seems nice. Very pretty, and not as hot as Davis has been. This is good. I was dying in Davis.

I forgot to shut off the AC before leaving, and the service won't be shut off till the 31st. Darn.

I'm feeling better today. Silly hormones.

I'm trying to figure out the best way to pack everything. I have two large suitcases, two carry-ons, and a largeish laptop case. I don't think I need both large suitcases. Is it worth it to keep the old, awkward one? I could check one of the carry-ons in it's place. Or I could use both large suitcases, and pack one of the carry-ons (it folds up small).

I just don't know whether the suitcase is worth the hassle of bringing it along.

I guess I'll see how things pack. It's entirely possible that I'll need the extra room.

There's still the question of what is worth bringing. Is the cordless phone with the questionable battery worth it? A brand new bottle of shampoo that I found hiding under the sink (which, from past experience, will probably just end up spilling all over)? A 1lb bag of irregular jelly bellies? The cat food dishes?

If I bring the extra suitcase, I'll have room for whatever extra junk I want to take. Does that make it worth it?

Such a dilemma.

About 48 more hours and I'll be in Virginia. How strange.

My mom, stepfather, and brother visited from Friday until this morning. For the most part, it was a nice visit. It's amazing how much better my brother and I get along now that we're adults and not seeing eachother on a regular basis :)

I'm effectively done with work. I'm working 10% time telecommuting for the next month, but I never *have* to go back to the office. Except I'm going to, because I forgot to return my keys, and I think I left something there, and it's the only access I currently have to a printer.

This is relieving, largely because I no longer have to worry about getting enough sleep at night. I can wake and sleep when I need to. Well, except that I have a bunch of stuff that needs to be done during business hours on Tuesday. Oh well. Hopefully the lack of things that need to be done before then will let me rest up for it.

At this point, I'm going back and forth between physically feeling great, and feeling run over by a truck, with little in between. As long as I get enough rest and don't try to do too much, I'm fine. Unfortunately, when I'm feeling fine, I tend to overestimate what "too much" is :)

I'm feeling lonely. I don't have any particularly close friends in Davis anymore, a lack which I don't typically feel when koyote is around.

I think maybe I'll throw a "take away my unneeded stuff and help me clean" party on Tuesday evening.

The monstrosity desk is no more. Well, that isn't entirely true. It's simply been converted to a makeshift coffee table. When I moved in, the people helping me move took the door off the hinges and the molding off the door in order to get it into the bedroom. I decided to have my brother saw the legs off rather than go through all that again. It worked quite well, and I now have a legless desk sitting in my living room, waiting for transport to the trashcan.

I apparently have 1040 mp3s/ogg files on my hard drive, taking up 3.9GB of space. I just put them all in a playlist. Now I need to figure out how to get StarCalc to open it as a spreadsheet or something so that I can effectively edit and sort it. I think that will be a job for the plane, along with resizing/reorienting/sorting the babyshower pictures, some of which are, amazingly enough, not hideous.

I need to pack and figure out what bag everything needs to go in. I can't pack everything now, because I need to do laundry first, and I'd prefer to wait until Monday to do that. Actually, I'd prefer to wait till Tuesday, but I have enough else to do on Tuesday that it isn't really practical.

I need to figure out the best way to ship the disk array and the cheese wheel. Do I mail them, or pack them in my luggage? I think the cheese will be packed (not quite as bulky, not as sensitive to harsh treatment, and less likely to scare security people) and the disk array mailed.

This is getting silly. I'll go ahead and post now.

I just finished the take-home final for my English class. It mainly consisted of an essay. I have issues with essays. I think this one turned out pretty good, though.

Generally, once I've got a good start, it isn't that bad. Getting started is always difficult, though, as I've written on many previous occasions.

Now, hopefully she'll be nice enough to pass me despite the other essay I haven't written. I can't even remember what exactly it was supposed to be about.

I have another final tomorrow (actually, later today) in the online class. Need to finish two small assignments before then, but I'm not too concerned about that. I can probably do both within about half an hour. I'm actually more worried about how to get them printed, seeing as the computer I used to print from at work is now in use by someone. I got an extension on the big project, since this whole moving thing proved to be more overwhelming than I expected. I hate that. I had really hoped I could make it through this class without screwing up anything. I've had very few classes where I haven't had to beg for an extension on something or other, and it really kills any feeling of accomplishment that I get out of the class, even if my end grade is good.

I think it was necessary, though. Having the pressure of the big project due today, as well as the two finals and the other small projects, probably would have kept me from napping this afternoon (which I desperately needed) and overwhelmed me to the point of not being able to get any of it done. At least, with the extension, I can focus on the smaller hurdles first and finish something, even if the project itself never gets done (not that there's any reason I shouldn't be able to finish it, once everything else is done and I have a few minutes to myself).

I just realized I forgot to finish my participation in the discussion boards for this week. Oh well, it is only five points, and I'm five points away from the maximum as it is. I find it hard to care about my grade at this point. As long as I pass, it doesn't matter. And I should. With no further work at all, I have a 61%. If I get a 50 on the final (which is at least 15 points lower than I've gotten on the other two tests) and finish the two small assignments, I'll have a 78% even without the final project. So there's no reason I can't get an A or B with minimal further effort.

As for moving, everything except what I need/want for the next month or so is packed up and on its way to VA. The apartment looks empty. And dirty. The thought of cleaning it terrifies me, given how I felt after sorting stuff on Monday (basically, like I'd been run over by a truck). I think I will have to hire a friend of mine who does housecleaning. Except her vacuum is broken, and mine is rapidly heading eastward. Oh well, we'll work it out.

It's all so strange. One week from now, I'll have technically graduated (still need to send in the paperwork), I'll no longer have a job, and I'll be living in a different state. Two more months, and I'll have a baby. Too much change, in too short a time.

And Buffy is over. As silly and inconsequential as it seems, it ties in with this feeling of incomprehensible change.

I'm curious as to how long it will take before it all starts feeling real. At the moment I'm rather dissociated from it - it's all just an academic exercise in major life change, not something I'm actually experiencing.

And now I must sleep so I can at least pretend to function at work/class tomorrow.