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I'm so upset right now.

[livejournal.com profile] habibekindheart's 2 1/2 year old son was killed in foster care. There was evidence of physical and sexual abuse.

I know a lot of you know her, and know how much her family has been through at the hands of CPS. It was clear she very much loved her children, and I can't imagine that ANYTHING in her home situation could possibly have been anywhere near as bad as this.

(Edited to add: I have no reason to believe that the children weren't removed for completely spurious reasons, and don't mean to imply that there was any good reason for the removal. Which makes this all the more terrifying and heartbreaking.)

I'm so upset.

I hope his 4 year old sister, who was in the same home, is OK.

This post has a little more info and information about donations.

God CPS, please stop giving hell to loving but imperfect (who isn't?) families and concentrate on the kids who NEED help.
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I just dreamed Leif fell off the Coronado Bridge. They had these damn Barney and Baby Bopp statues along the edge, and when he ran to see a gust of wind blew him over.
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R.I.P. Octavia Butler.

Her books, especially the Parable books, are some of the few I've read more than once as an adult. I just finished re-reading one of her books yesterday.
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I thought I wasn't really upset about my cat dying. I've only seen him occasionally since I moved out, and I was kind of expecting it since he was old and in poor health.

But last night I had awful dreams about watching people I loved slowly die.
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R.I.P TOC (The Other Cat)

1990 - December 9, 2005
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My aunt Barbara died five years ago. She was a relatively prominent archaeologist (in New England, anyways), focusing on the Native American tribes in New England.

I'm reading Island in the Sea of Time by S.M. Stirling, and when the Native Americans came on the scene, I had to put the book down for a while. I'd known the basic premise of the book (the island of Nantucket gets transported back in time 3000 years), but hadn't made the connection before.

I wonder if she read it - it came out in 1998, so it's quite possible. I wish she were around so I could ask her what she thought of it. If the Native Americans are historically accurate, it's almost certainly based on her research, though neither her nor her department at UMass is mentioned in the acknowledgments.
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Playing around on Davis Wiki, [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I discovered they had an IRC channel.

On this IRC channel, we met [livejournal.com profile] tarzxf.

Then we ran into him at Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's, where he recognized us because I was wearing the Davis Wiki shirt which I'd won (well, Leif won actually, but it is too big for him) the night before at the Linux User Group of Davis meeting, where the wiki happened to be the topic.

[livejournal.com profile] koyote friended his LJ. He read our profiles, and asked how we knew [livejournal.com profile] funjon, [livejournal.com profile] kikikimi, [livejournal.com profile] zenshadow and [livejournal.com profile] snapdad (old IRC friends from elsewhere). Turns out he worked with them.

And then it turned out that he had also worked with [livejournal.com profile] koyote before [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I met.

Then I read through his journal, and found a link to an article about a guy who he'd gone to high school with, who had died in a plane crash recently. This guy was the first friend I made in Davis. He left a while ago, and this was the first any of us here had heard about him dying.

So yeah, small world.
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I posted sometime back before Leif was born about a mailing list friend who was also pregnant whose baby had died. She got pregnant again, and they discovered that this time, there is an umbilical cord abnormality (Only one artery. There are normally two. This happens sometimes, and doesn't necessarily mean anything bad, though it can cause some problems or be a symptom of chromosomal problems). She was scheduled for an more in-depth ultrasound on Tuesday, and we haven't received an update yet. I'm worried.

We made Leif a little bed on the floor, so that he'd have somewhere to sleep when we aren't in bed with him. Our bed is high, and it's too easy for him to fall. The first night we tried it, he woke up after about half an hour and refused to be put down the rest of the night. That was the start of his cold. Now that he's doing better, we tried again. He did pretty well tonight, staying asleep for about 2.5 hours, and then going back to sleep quickly when I came in. It's entirely possible he wouldn't have really woken up at all if I hadn't come in when he was wiggling around but not quite awake.

I just switched web browsers, from Camino to FireFox, after noticing that it seemed faster and is less buggy. I managed to get my bookmarks imported after a bit of trouble, but now they're set up better than they were before. Yay! Such excitement!

I need to upload a bunch of pictures. It's one of those things where the more behind I get, the less I feel like doing it because there's more to do.

Tomorrow we have to go back to Barnes&Noble so that I can finish What Janie Found by Caroline Cooney. I read the first book in the series (The Face on the Milkcarton) when I was in... gad, 6th grade or something. I decided I might as well go ahead and read it since I've read the others, and I needed something quick and brain-dead. I finished about half.

My life must be boring you all to death. Why am I even bothering to write this?
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So here we are in Davis.

It's strange being back, but also feels like we never left, because it's so much more familiar than Virginia.

It's weird being in a place where a good portion of babies are carried in slings and other people breastfeed in public.

It also made me realize how odd it is to have a large percentage of the population between the ages of 18 and 22. I feel old here.

We haven't seen all the people we wanted to see, which is a bit depressing, but that's life.

I found some organic pumpkin pie flavored baby food at the co-op, so Leif gets Thanksgiving dinner! Or dessert, anyways. They also had turkey and vegetable flavor, but since we haven't done much with solids yet, that's probably too much to try at once.

He ate a slice of banana the other day. He's been throwing fits when I eat anything, so when we went to Ben & Jerry's, I got a banana royal and shared the banana with him.

Leif did great on the plane flight - he slept for half the time (long enough for me to watch most of Charlie's Angels 2. Weird weird movie), and was pretty quiet the rest of the time, though a bit bored. He also slept the whole time on the train.

Tomorrow we take the train down to southern California to visit my mom's side of the family for Thanksgiving.

I miss Davis. I wish we could stay here, but it lacks good paying jobs and reasonably clean air.

When I was 14 or so, I used to watch seaQuest, not in small part because of Jonathan Brandis, who played Lucas. Yet another in my string of crushes on geeks (or people who played geeks, anyways). He apparently killed himself the other day. So yeah... not sure what to think about that. He (and seaQuest in general) were one of the bright points in my life that year, at a time when I was starting on my depressive/suicidal phase.

Here's what Wil Wheaton says. Not surprisingly, I'm not the only one who associates the two of them. They played similar characters (seaQuest was widely considered to be StarTrek underwater, and Lucas the Wesley of seaQuest), and I had crushes on both of them.

Must leave the cafe and go visit people...
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No, I'm not really planning to give the baby up for adoption. For one thing, I think [livejournal.com profile] koyote would have something to say about that. I wrote that about 10 minutes after I found Gweny, and the thought of being responsible for an actual human being, of the possibility of one day coming in and finding the baby dead like that, was too much. It still is, but I'm feeling a little more detached now.

Poor rattie babies.

Rattie pictures. The pictures of Gweny were taken last night, the ones of Tilda a few days before she died. And a few cat pictures, too.
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Gwendolyn rattie died.

I think I need to give the baby up for adoption.
ocelot: (buffy)
Our rattie baby, Matilda, died tonight.

As [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I have posted before, she was sick. But she was doing so much better. She was happy, and had a good appetite, and was exploring and climbing in her cage. And then I came in to feed her and she was dead.

Poor rattie girl.

I do not like reminders of mortality while pregnant.

I'm not sure what we're going to do about Gwendolyn now. She's seemed lonely and depressed since we took Tilda out of the cage. So we have to get more ratties to keep her company, but I do not want to take on the responsibility of more rats right now. But if we don't, I'm afraid she's just going to waste away. She's already not really eating, though she shows no signs of the respiratory infection that Tilda had (and the vet agrees with this).

Ugh. I think I'm going to watch Totoro or something. I can't deal with any more tonight, and things keep getting worse.

This time of year seems to do that for me.
ocelot: (bunny)
Suddenly I not only have appetite again - I have energy, too. I've actually been pretty productive at work this week, and right now I actually feel like going to the exercise room. I think this is a first.

Everyone is being deployed. On the [livejournal.com profile] pregnant friends page, I've read posts from several people whose husbands are being deployed within the next few weeks. Many of them are expecting babies shortly. A friend of mine is trying to find the money to visit her fiance in Hawaii one last time before he's deployed. I hate this. Why exactly are we sending all these people over there to have their lives potentially destroyed?

Oolong, the bunny that balances stuff on his head in my userpic, apparently died today :( Poor bunny.
ocelot: (grump)
You know, it really sucks when you find the perfect present for someone, but you can't get it for them because they're dead.
ocelot: (Default)
I can't write anything.

So many moods to chose from, and none of them really fit.
ocelot: (k5)
Original: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2000/12/18/191522/93

Today is an odd day. Actually, the past few days have been quite odd. Perhaps I'm actually asleep, and just think I'm awake.
Read more... )

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