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This morning I was making tea for myself and Leif. I tossed in some turbanado sugar (the brown, less processed type - the same kind as you get from "Sugar In The Raw" packets). I tried a sip of Leif's, and it wasn't very sweet, so I put a few more spoonfulls in mine. It still wasn't really noticably sweeter.

Leif decided he didn't like the tea, so I made him some juice instead in the same cup. A few minutes later he spilled it, and some sort of weird grainy stuff spilled across the table along with the juice.

It seems the turbanado sugar was actually couscous or something. There was a nice big sludge of it at the bottom of my cup. Unfortunately, cooking it in tea didn't make it taste particularly good, or I'd have had a nice breakfast.

I'm so close to creating a children's TV community where parents can slash the characters, or pick on Dora's Spanish grammar, or whatnot.

The latest: the intro song to Barney says something about Barney teaching kids how to play pretend. No, he doesn't. Playing pretend is a normal developmental stage, and you don't need an idiotic purple dinosaur to tell you how to do it.

For all of you who have been exposed to fanfic and don't yet have kids... don't.

Either that, or don't watch any sort of children's TV/movies.

You find yourself doing things like slashing Anthony and Captain Feathersword, which is just wrong.

But really, how can you avoid slashing someone who goes on and on about his feathersword?

I swear I'm losing my mind...

Today at Trader Joe's, I picked up a pack of frozen french toast.

A few minutes later, I decided I didn't actually want frozen french toast, and stuck it back in the freezer.

When I got home, I discovered I still had it. I had stuck the box of oatmeal (similar size and color) into the freezer instead.

I wonder what the person who finds it is going to think?

I feel like the world's biggest screwup today.

My brain is a sieve.

I can't do anything right.

I'm too stupid to be able to participate in an intellectual conversation at a meaningful level.

I'm messing up baby's brain by imprinting negative thought patterns, or something like that.

I'm messing up baby physically by not eating well enough, not getting enough exercise, etc.

I hurt physically. I'm tired of not feeling well.

I whine too much.

I think I'm going to go do reading homework till I fall asleep, which will probably result in my not being able to sleep past midnight or so, since I already took a nap when I got home.

Comments disabled because I'm just whining, not fishing for compliments.

Current Mood: whiny

Bah. Some people are dumb. A person in my online class just claimed that since the people we were studying weren't citizens, it was sad that they could not get proper medical care, but that we can't provide medical care for everyone. The people in question were a second generation immigrant and her daughter.

Yes, because they're migrant workers and live in deplorable conditions, they can't be citizens, can they?

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. I've been exhausted the past few days, falling asleep by 9:30 or so, with no energy after work. The apartment needs to be in some state of higher cleanliness by Friday. Not perfect, but some parts are pretty awful right now. I have a midterm tomorrow, and a website review due at the beginning of the class (which should be pretty simple - no more than a half hour or so, but it still has to be done). I just finished my discussion board participation for the week by replying to Ms. Children Of Immigrants Aren't Citizens.

I took a nap after work, which I needed in order to function. This means that I won't be able to sleep for at least another two hours or so, which means that I'll be non-functional if I have to get to work tomorrow. So I'm not going to. There's not a whole heck of a lot of point in going anyways, since I'll only be there for about 3 hours total. I'm still debating whether or not to go to my first class, which would require leaving the house at about 10. There's no real reason not to go, assuming I get the website review done tonight, except that it takes a big chunk out of my day. I guess I'll see how I feel in the morning.

When I get paid, I want to get boxes to put baby stuff in. Currently, it's all in a suitcase on the bedroom floor, which is not really the most efficient storage place, as there is not nearly enough stuff to fill the whole suitcase, and the floor does not really have enough room for it.

I'm glad Buffy is ending this season. This is purely selfish, and doesn't have anything to do with declining quality or anything like that. I simply want to stop watching TV (and may actually not have access to a TV with decent reception on any sort of regular basis after we move), but I don't want to miss any Buffy.

Update: Website review is done. I may do another tomorrow if I feel like it. Looks like I'll go to my first class unless I actually do get sick. I printed out all the stuff I need to study, but I think I forgot it at work. Erk. Broken brain.

I feel like posting a really angsty rant, but it would just hurt people, so I'll resist.

Basically, nesting is incredibly frustrating and panic inducing when you don't know where you'll be living after the baby is born.

I'm thinking about making baby stuff out of the old twin-sized flannel sheets I have sitting around. Blankets would be terribly easy, but something a bit more creative would be good, too. It needs to be pretty simple (since I'm not really great at sewing) and quick (since I tend not to finish things if they take too long).

Baby is having a kicky-fit. Right now it's just making me feel more panicy and depressed.

I'm getting the feeling that I forgot to bring in my leftovers from the stupid overpriced sushi place last night, despite specifically thinking about bringing them in immediately before getting out of the car. *checks fridge* Yup, sure did.

Someone please give me my brain/life/sanity back?

Current Mood: depressed

I realized, while heading out the door to put the laundry in the dryer, that I had forgotten to add laundry detergent.

That's ok. They're couch/chair coverings that are covered in cat hair. They can probably use another washing. It's just annoying to have to go out in the rain and waste another 75 cents.

And yes, I'm making a purposeful, concerted effort to take over everyone's friends page.

Current Mood: annoyed

Last night I started three loads of laundry in the apartment complex's laundry room. When I came back to switch them to the dryer, there were two loads of my laundry, and one load of someone else's laundry in the washer where mine had been.

My laundry basket, which I'd left sitting on top of that particular washer, was still there.

I left a note for the people with stuff in the washer asking if they knew where mine had gone. Today, when I got back from work, I checked again. The note was gone, but the other person's clothing was still there, and there was no message on the answering machine.

I talked to the manager, who was quite distressed, as someone else had some missing clothes about a month ago. Unrelatedly, she also said that it would be fine if we extended our lease through August (it ends in June, which is terribly inconvenient given the baby and all).

After that, I checked the washer one last time. On a whim, I pulled up the pair of jeans, and discovered it was mine. I dug through it some more, and found a few more items of clothing that belonged to me or

koyote. Not a full load. Just a few things. The rest of the clothing was someone else's.

So the great mystery is...who was the dumbass? It was probably me - it makes more sense that I threw a few items in on top of someone else's laundry and thought it was a full load than it does that I would have put a few things in a load, and someone else happened to come along, move the laundry basket, put clothing in, and move the laundry basket back. That takes actual effort, while with me it would have just been stupidity.

But the other person's laundry was all on top of mine, hiding it. And they're the ones who have left their laundry sitting in the washing machine for nearly 24 hours...

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Miss Saigon soundtrack

It's raining like crazy here. I love listening to the rain and wind during storms, but occasionally tonight I feel that the water must be up to the windowsills by now. Looking at weather.com, this feeling is understandable. Many areas around here have received 3-5 inches of rain in the past several hours. That's as much as San Diego gets during the average winter month. There are flood warnings all over the bay area.

It rains as hard as this in San Diego, but not as steadily. It'll go hard for twenty minutes, and then let up for a while. Here, it continues at the same pace for hours, or even days.

I'm feeling ok about LemurBaby tonight. I don't always. Most of the time I think I'll be the most terrible mother ever, and that this is going to completely ruin my life, and it would be better for both me and the baby if I had never been born. I convince myself that I can't stand children, which is nuts since as long as I can remember I've liked being around kids. Every time I go for a while without interacting with kids, I get wary of them and afraid I won't be able to stand them, but when I'm actually around them I'm fine.

This is probably a result of the hormones. I was a complete mess as a teenager in a very similar way, so it makes sense.

My mood may also be due to the fact that I know I don't have to drag myself out of bed at way-too-early tomorrow morning to spend nine hours at a job I don't like and another three in class. Got lots of papers I've got to catch up on this weekend, but at least they don't require getting out of bed at 7:00AM.

I got fed up with the book I was reading and got the irresistable urge to reread Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott. I picked it up this summer when I was, for some reason I can barely comprehend now, completely baby-crazy. I can't exactly say it gives me much hope, but at least it assures me that even crazy neurotic people can have maternal feelings.

I think that reading it has had an effect on both my writing style and my willingness to right, even though I've only been reading it for an hour or so. Odd.

Current Mood: thoughtful

AIGH! EVIL BABY IN MY JOURNAL! RUN! RUN!

So we're having a meeting at work with the guys who are working on developing our new server. One of my co-workers makes a comment that makes the lead developer (who's cute-ish, and I'd guess my co-workers think so too, as they seem to enjoy teasing him) blush. Very cute. I hope others find it equally cute when I blush, since I tend to do that way too often.

That prompts my other co-worker to say "At least you aren't having Mike's baby" while looking pointedly at me.

I kick her and tell her to shut up, and then explain that I am not, in fact, having anyone's baby. Probably blushing madly the whole time (a good reason to hope it's cute when I do it).

See a few months ago Mike got tired of everyone thinking we were dating. So he went to my boss and told her that I was pregnant with his baby.

Why he thought this would help the situation is beyond me...

Since then, it's been a running joke. A joke I rather wish I wasn't a part of. Especially when they have to go involve all new employees, including the cute, young, potentially dateable ones.

I sound like a total airhead today. I apologize. I'm tossing around some rather serious stuff in my head, and this is my way of letting off steam.