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Aug. 25th, 2003 12:42 am
ocelot: (buffy)
Leif and I took a nap for an hour or so today. I swear he noticably grew during it.

I seem to have gotten my period back. Bah. I was really hoping I'd be one of those people who didn't get it back for months.

Yesterday we drove out to the middle of nowhere for a Mars-viewing party. It ended up being kind of a bust - we got started late, then had a diaper incident when we stopped at the store to get flashlights, then I mis-read the directions and got us a little lost. People were still there when we finally made it, but it was a bit chilly and starting to cloud over. Not an utter waste of time, though. I still had fun.

The unaccustomed chilliness and being out under the stars at night reminded me that it was almost exactly two years from the day [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I first met.

We were listening to the radio in the car on the way there, and a song came on that brought back very intense memories of one of the best times I had in high school.

It was from the talent show that took place during my freshman or sophmore year. Must have been freshman, because my sophmore year pretty much sucked entirely except for Spanish class, and now that I think about it, some of the people I'm remembering graduated my freshman year. Anyways, I was working one of the spotlights. Chris M., who I had a crush on, was on the other one. It was great fun - the only chance I ever had on the headphones. That had been one of my goals since I got started with drama in third grade (Actually my goal was to be stage manager, till I got to high school and realized that stage managers generally aged about 10 years from the stress and lack of sleep. Plus I got a job my Junior year, and didn't have time for it anymore). Chris always made fun of Izola, who sang "Memories" from Cats, which always got him yelled at by Brian (I realize that this whole story has become nonsensical to anyone who didn't attend high school with me. Oh well).

Anyways, this ties back to the present day because the Drama Club did a lip sync to "Polka Your Eyes Out", one of Weird Al's medley thingies. The song on the radio last night, "Enter Sandman", was part of the medley. This isn't a song I hear frequently, which is probably why it brought back the memory so strongly. I have a lot of songs that have memories associated with them, but if they're songs I like or songs that were popular at the time of the memory(which tends to be the case), I've listened to them often enough that the association with any one event tends to lessen.

Not so with this one. I heard it and I was there, as distinctly as if I'd literally been transported back in time.

Of course, next time I hear it, it will have another memory attached to it, so I doubt the effect will be as strong.

My earliest memory is meeting Laura G., who was my best friend until 1st grade or so. Her family had just moved into the house behind ours. I was out riding my tricycle around the block with my mom. She was riding her hot wheels in the driveway. I remember thinking hot wheels were much cooler than tricycles. I must have been three at the time, since she was a bit older than me, and I remember going to her fourth birthday party.

That's the earliest memory that I can actually place in time. I may have earlier memories, but since I don't know when they take place, I'm not certain. I do have vague impressions from around the time my brother was born (I was almost 3), but nothing distinct, and some of it may be "memories" from photographs I've seen.

What's your earliest memory?
ocelot: (Default)
I posted a whole bunch of pictures to Leif's website today. I discovered that photoshop has an option to automatically generate photo albums. Neat. So it's now an actual website, and not just a list of pictures.

I went to the doctor today. I'm all healthy. My blood pressure is way down (100/60), and I'm a bit below my pre-pregnancy weight. Yay.

Talk about weight loss and female body parts... )

I almost forgot to mention... [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I got married on Friday. Then we went and saw American Wedding. We thought it would be appropriate. It was Leif's first movie, too. He nursed pretty much the whole time, so he was quiet.

Friday morning, we went to the courthouse to get a marriage license. On our way out, a woman came up to us and said (pointing to Leif), "Is that Elijah?" We said no, of course. She said that he looked just like her son Elijah - he had the same outfit (I think every kid born this summer has this particular outfit), and the same stork bite on his eye.

This kind of freaked me out. [livejournal.com profile] koyote thinks that she was probably on drugs, and CPS took the baby away. I don't doubt that he's right. Poor kid.

So I've now eloped. This amuses me. My cousin, the only other married person on that side of the family, also eloped (and didn't tell anyone for six months). Perhaps we're starting a trend! There's also a child out of wedlock trend going. I find this interesting. It feels to me like our family has always pretended to be perfect (intentionally or not), while really being pretty dysfunctional. Tom, would you agree with this?

Or perhaps that's just normal.

I've been pondering what I'd do if I suddenly became rich. Not hugely "never have to worry about money again" rich, but considerably richer than I am now (which wouldn't really take much - we have no debt now, but we don't have much saved up beyond that, either. We're working on it).

I think that growing up not-rich in Coronado (one of the richest parts of San Diego (or anywhere, for that matter)) left me with a real distaste for richness. My friends and I generally had to work for things we wanted beyond the necessities - I started a pet sitting business in 5th grade in order to save money for the 8th grade class trip to the east coast, and had jobs pretty much continually from that point on.

Anyways, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, except that the idea of being rich bugs me. Or perhaps more to the point, the idea of giving Leif everything he wants bugs me. Not that I don't want him to be happy, but consumerism doesn't necessarily lead to happiness. Not that being rich means I have to give him everything he wants, but it takes away the convenient "We can't afford it" excuse.

(I'm being hypocritical here. The idea of being able to buy whatever I want doesn't bother me. I don't think I'm really all that much better at objectively assessing what is "worth it" just because I'm an adult, yet I want to make that decision for other people).

I should now do laundry and go to bed, as the boy will want me awake at some time in the morning before I really feel like being awake.

I have a hard time expressing myself. Most of what I've said in this entry isn't what I really meant to say. Oh well. I've always had this problem where my brain thinks faster than I can get the words out (verbal, typed, or written, it doesn't matter). I'll have all these wonderful thoughts in my head, and when I try to write them, it just doesn't work. I've sometimes thought that if I could have a thought recorder, I could very easily be a professional writer. Except that everyone else is probably the same way, so if thought recorders existed, the standards would go up.

Besides, the idea of thought recorders and the Bush administration is just frightening.

Ok, off to bed.

Oh yeah...

Sep. 1st, 2002 09:57 pm
ocelot: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] koyote and I celebrated our one-year anniversary this past Friday :) (or the Friday before that, depending on when you count from).

glittery

Aug. 10th, 2001 11:43 pm
ocelot: (Default)
I'm debating whether my ex or Mike is the most infuriating person I know.

I think my ex wins.

Yesterday at work we were discussing nail polish. I said I liked sparkly nail polish. Not that I usually wear it - I just think it's fun. My co-worker said I wasn't the sparkly nail polish type. Hmmph. That's what she thinks. I think this is why I spent the evening drawing all over myself with pastel metallic gel pens and painting my toenails with green glitter polish.

The gel pens actually look pretty cool on skin. Not sure how easily they'd come off, or if they'd hold up at all under sweat, though.

Now to go read a bunch more Ender's Shadow, since everyone I have any interest in talking to has gone to bed. Damn time zones.

Dreams

Jul. 30th, 2001 09:57 am
ocelot: (Default)
Dreams are interesting things. Sometimes they make no sense at all. Sometimes they're a blatant slap in the face from the subconscious.

Last night was somewhere in between. Actually, I can't remember the dream except for a scene where I was sitting in the theater in SF where my ex and I saw "American Pimp" (Don't ask).

I don't think anything much happened in the dream itself, but I was thinking about it while in the shower, and came to a better (well, in my mind, anyways) understanding of what went wrong between us. Basically, lack of communication and too much outside stress. Really, nothing I haven't realized before. I just feel I have a more empathic and two-sided understanding of it now.

Survey Below...
Read more... )
ocelot: (k5)
Original: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2001/2/14/193334/321

If a Valentine is postmarked on Feb. 14th, it counts as on time, right? It works with taxes, after all..
Read more... )
ocelot: (k5)
Original: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2001/2/4/172939/1343

Until yesterday, I'd assumed I was moving out of this house come summer. Now I'm rethinking that...
Read more... )
ocelot: (k5)
Original: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2000/12/10/42618/147

I guess 18 emails over the course of 4 hours indicates some level of interest...
Read more... )

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