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Dec. 2nd, 2003

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My grandparents watched Leif this evening while I went out all by myself for the first time since he was born.

I got some ice cream (tiramisu with cookie dough mixed in), and then went to my old karate studio and watched through the window for a few minutes. That always makes me feel guilty. If I had stuck with it, I'd probably be a black belt by now. Of course, I couldn't have stuck with the exact same style, since there was no studio for it anywhere reasonably near Davis, but that's beside the point.

I planned to go to Cafe 1134 and read, but it was way too crowded. I probably should have waited a few minutes - a play was starting at the theater next door in a little bit, which probably would have cleared out some of the people. I was impatient though, so I headed down to Starbucks. That made me feel dumb - the only coffee shops anywhere near us in Virginia are Starbucks, so we go there all the time. I should be doing something that I can't do back there, not sitting around in a cookie-cutter coffee shop drinking a drink that tastes exactly the same as it does at any other Starbucks.

They had a couch though, so it wasn't a complete waste.

My grandparents called maybe an hour and a half after I left, after Leif had been inconsolable for half an hour. Apparently he was great up until he started to get sleepy, and then he realized Mom wasn't around to feed him. Poor guy.

I've heard people say how much they miss their babies when they go out. I didn't miss him, really. It was too nice being out on my own. It just felt weird. If I ran into anyone I knew, they wouldn't know I was a mom. And I felt guilty and worried for leaving him there, knowing he'd probably get upset. [livejournal.com profile] koyote and I left him with my mom and dad on three occasions during this trip, and he'd always ended up not being terribly happy.

Anyways, I got back to my grandparents', and he stopped crying pretty much immediately, though he continued making little hiccupy sniffles every so often while he nursed. Then he fell asleep harder than I've ever seen - I managed to get him back to my Dad's (next door, so not exactly far), and upstairs to bed without him waking up, and I wasn't exactly graceful about it. He usually wakes up if I carry him from the living room to the bedroom.

Poor baby. I don't think I'll try that again for a while - I'm not sure I could get any enjoyment out of it until he gets old enough to deal better.

We went to the zoo this afternoon. He woke up just in time to see the orangutans. One was rolling around the exhibit, and rolled right up to the glass and started making faces against it. I stood Leif up near the glass, and he and the orangutan were just fascinated with eachother. It was fun to watch.

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